Get The Gross

Recently-departed Don Adams used to tell a story about his series, Get Smart. It ran for five years in prime time and even longer in syndication. Adams had net points in the show but never received a check. About ten years after it had been canceled, he asked for an accounting and was told the show is still in the red.

Now we have a more recent example of this classic tale. Frasier, the most celebrated sitcom in Emmy history, has taken in an alleged $1.5 billion, but, the owners claim, is still $200 million in the red. Some net participants are suing to discover how can this be.

No one doubts Frasier has made a lot of cash, so why don't the books show it? Because then the gross participants would have to share more of the pie, and that won't do. It's easier for the accountants to shift the numbers around until there is no net. In fact, there seems to be, in Hollywood anyway, no actual technical meaning to "net profits."

I have many writer friends who have net points in shows and movies. Heck, I've signed contracts promising me a portion of the net. We all sort of know it means nothing. Still, it should be interesting to see how this lawsuit turns out. Alas, it'll probably be settled out of court.

Writers think they're the most creative people in town, but really it's the accountants.