A theory of everything II

I've always wondered about these international polls that hold themselves out as telling us the opinions of "much of the Muslim world," all "according to a multicountry poll." And if you have any questions about the polling process, well, it was "released on Thursday." (What? No margin of error?)

Whoever attached their names to this are clowns. In this case, the clowns are Pew Research Center, and they interviewed 17,000 people, "either by telephone of face-to-face." (I think they meant "or face to face," but who the hell knows what they meant.) In any case, "much of the Muslim world" means "public opinion in six predominantly Muslim nations: Morocco, Pakistan, Turkey, Indonesia, Jordan and Lebanon. It also examined views in nine North American and European countries as well as in India and China."

Yes. Well.

What do we know from all of this? Well, for one thing, they don't like Jews: "In Lebanon, 100 percent of Muslims and 99 percent of Christians said they had a very unfavorable view of Jews, while 99 percent of Jordanians also viewed Jews very unfavorably." (Wow. Those are some numbers: 100 percent to 99 percent, eh? Sounds like an election for Saddam Hussein.)

And the other thing is, no more than 2 percent support suicide bombers in this country and no more than 57 percent in that one.

Ack. Look, this is indeed something worth knowing--if, in fact, we know it. And if these numbers have any validity at all this is largely a good thing, as a distinct minority favor the tactics so widespread in Iraq and the Palestinian territories (and Israel when they can manage it).

But this all has the stink of ripe garbage. How do you pose valid questions? How do you pose reliable questions? And how do you find representative random samples? Nice sentiment, this is, but call me back when you have some news. (And if 100 percent have a "very unfavorable view of Jews," why not ask how many believe in UFO's, too?)