Must be sweeps week

Ho-hum. Another student sex survey. My God, these things are so common now, and you don't need to read it to know what it says--SEX!SEX EVERYWHERE! CHILDREN HAVING SEX!.

Frankly, I'm bored. Let's push the very-important-news bar and find out what the sexual practices of elementary students are. Until, then, where's my picture of Jon Benet Ramsey?