Simple Simon
I recently heard "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover," Paul Simon's only solo #1 hit. It got me thinking.
The title promises us 50 ways. You know how many Simon gives us? A paltry five. It's hardly worth it.
I know, I know, the lyric merely notes "there must be" 50 ways to do it, but couldn't Simon at least have written a second chorus with five new ways?
And some of the Big Five don't even count. "Slip out the back, Jack." Okay, that would work, but "make a new plan, Stan"? Is he serious? We know you need a new plan, be more specific.
"You don't need to be coy, Roy"! Fine, don't be coy, but that's not what I would call a way to leave your lover.
Simon's two other pieces of advice: "hop on a bus" and "drop off the key." Sure, why not. But overall, what a disappointment.
posted by LAGuy @ 12:50 AM
2 Comments:
Yes he promises 50 ways then just gives six pointers to remember when you do it(you left out "You don't need to discuss... much" unless you view that as part of hopping on the bus) five of which get addressed to those lucky enough to be a member of the rhyming nomenclature.
I guess "5 of 6 things to remember when you dump your old lady" while more accurate is not exactly a snappy title for the top 40
Yes, I consider "you don't need to discuss much" a continuation of Simon's advice to Gus, whom he's already advised to hop on a bus.
In any case, it would not only be fairly worthless advice considered alone, but it also contradicts "you don't need to be coy."
Apparently anything you do is fine with Simon.
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