We Get Letters

I may be retiring soon.  I just got this email: 

Good Day Beneficiary,

Prior to your email regarding your Compenstion Claim, I am writing to inform you that I am a delegate from the United Nations Compensation Commission and to notify you finally about your outstanding Compensation payment of $2,759,389 USD.

You are to send your Name, Address, City, State, Zip Code, Country and Telephone Number(s) to UPS {ups-shipment@excite.co.uk<{ups-shipment@excite.co.uk>} for your check payment delivery.

Thanks for your attention

Trujillo Cindy (IHS/ALB)
Secretary
United nations Compensation Commission

It's about time I got some money back from the United Nations.  It must be real since the compensation amount is so specific.  Oops, I forgot to read the confidentiality notice:

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE____________________________
This e-mail may contain privileged and confidential information and is intended only for the use of the specific individual(s) to whom it is addressed. If you are not an intended recipient of this e-mail, you are hereby notified that any unauthorized use, dissemination or copying of this e-mail or the information contained in it or attached to it is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please delete it and immediately notify the person named above by reply e-mail. We only send and receive emails on the basis that we are not liable for any such corruption, interception, tampering, amendment or viruses or any consequence thereof. Thank you.

Guess I'll get in trouble for unauthorized use.

Anyway, if that's not enough, here's another exciting prospect I recently received.

Greetings,

I know you would be surprised to read from someone relatively unknown to you.  My name is Captain Prieve Sullivan, I am an American soldier serving in the military with the U.S. ARMY USARPAC Medical Team,which was deployed to Iraq at the beginning of the war in Iraq.

I would like to share some highly personal classified information about my personal experience and role which I played in the pursuit of my career serving under the U.S 1st Armored which was at the fore-front of the war in Iraq.

Though, I would like to hold back certain information which i intend sharing with you for security reasons for now until i hear from you. I will be vivid and coherent in my next message in this regards, meanwhile, could you send me an email confirming that you have visited the site and that you have understood my intentions? I will like you to get back to me

I will await your thoughts via my email.
Thanks,

Yours
Capt. Prieve Sullivan USARPAC

I'm not sure how vivid and coherent I want him to be, but if he needs any funds, maybe I'll wait until I get that compensation from the UN.