Stump The Stars

On my cable system, I can press the info button for movies and see how many stars they get.  The system is one through four, with nothing in between.  I read that as meaning four stars is a classic (or at least excellent), three is good, two not so good, one a disaster.  I also assume they're not meant to be idiosyncratic ratings, but something close to critical consensus.  Which is why I'm so often surprised.

Here's are some ranking for a recent Saturday night, with many films, new and old, playing. I'm just going to go down the list and see what my cable tells me (with my comments in parentheses):

Tootsie--three stars (Really?  I'd call this a comedy classic deserving four stars.)

Little Big Man--four stars (I wasn't aware this film was thought of so highly.  It's not bad, but I don't think it should get more than three stars)

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel--four stars (What?  It was well-reviewed and a hit, but not a great film--three stars is enough)

Sucker Punch--one star (Not too many films get one star.  You've got to be at the bottom of the barrel.  And Sucker Punch is.)

The Five-Year Engagement--three stars (not that well-received, I would have expected two.)

While You Were Sleeping--two stars (This was a charming little comedy, and a hit in its day.  Three stars seems right.)

Rounders--two stars (Not a hit in its day, but it's become a cult classic--I'd have expected three stars and four wouldn't have been out of the question.)

Road House--two stars (Because it's a raucous, silly film, it only gets two?  There's plenty of modern grindhouse stuff out there and this is about as good as it gets. Three stars--at least.)

Die Hard--three stars (Don't like the genre?  Die Hard may be the greatest action film of the past few decades.  Four stars.)

Contagion--four stars (A reasonably well-done, quiet film with a big cast, but a classic?  Three stars, and, as so many found it dull, I wouldn't have been surprised to see two.)

The Help --four stars (A crowd-pleasing hit, but more three-star material.)

The Muppets--four stars (It performed disappointingly and was only lightly liked by critics.  Three stars seems enough.  Maybe more than enough.)

War Horse--four stars (Not much of a hit and not much of a film--is every passable movie from the past few years going to get four stars?)

Men In Black II--two stars (The first was a classic, this was a letdown, but it was still fun. Three stars wouldn't have been shocking, but two isn't either.)

Men In Black III--four stars (I'm dumbfounded.  MIB3 was about as big a letdown as MIB2.  Who's doing these ratings?)

PS  Right now I'm watching Three O'Clock High.  I consider it a classic, and it gets one star!