Ballmer The Baller

According to the LA Times, It looks like former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer may be buying the Los Angeles Clippers.  He's made a $2 billion bid, considerably more than David Geffen's second-highest offer of $1.6 billion.

I had no idea the Clippers were so valuable.  In fact, Ballmer's number is almost four times higher than what any NBA team has ever sold for.  Does Ballmer want to make money, or does the guy just want a bauble?

In any case, what he wants to do with the team is his business.  If he gets it.  Any purchase has to be cleared by three-quarters of NBA owners.  The first question you ask when someone offers you a big check is will it bounce?  Well, with a net worth of $20 billion, I'll assume he's good for it.

Second, it looks like he's promised to keep the team in Los Angeles. (Not that I personally care.  Don't follow the Clippers and we've got another team anyway.)

But that should just be the start.  I'd now like him to turn over everything he's ever written, said, and, if possible, thought.  Public, private, I make no distinction.  And while we're at it, have him fill out a questionnaire and perhaps take a polygraph.  In this country, we don't allow unworthy people to own things.  So we have to know how he feels about every political issue before any purchase can take place.

In a related story, it turns out Donald Sterling stands to make a 15,900%  profit when he sells the Clippers, so I wish he'd stop complaining.  Forcing him out of the NBA is a huge favor, doesn't he get it?