Film Year In Review--2017

It's time for our eagerly awaited annual film wrap-up.  If it's a bit later than most, it's because I see movies with regulars folks at the cineplex, and need to catch up in early January.

This is the paragraph where I generally say it wasn't much of a year, but 2017 was one of the best in a long time.  Usually you're lucky if you get one special film per month, but last year they seemed to come out every week.  Okay, every two weeks.  And even some failures turned out to be pretty interesting (I'm looking at you, Mother!).

Not that I'm a pushover.  In fact, a number of highly-regarded titles didn't do much for me.  Which ones?  Read on and find out.

Before we start, a few ground rules. I discuss only feature films released or made widely available in U. S. theatres in 2017.  No shorts, no TV, even though that cuts out some great stuff.  (And the distinction between TV and movies is getting fuzzier--my rule is if I saw it in a theatre first, it's a movie.)

I will give out some awards, note some trends, tell you which films were good, bad and ugly, and then list my top fifteen.  Usually I do a top ten, and have to stretch to make that, but this year was good enough for a top fifteen.  I could have managed a top twenty.  Anyway, you can rush to the bottom right now to see the list, but really, the best stuff is along the way.

Feel free to leave a comment, whether you agree or not.  In fact, comments tend to be better when you don't agree.


2017 AWARDS:

Performance Of The Year: So much good work this year it's had to pick a single performance, but I'll choose someone in something not too many saw (so you can't say I'm wrong)--Haley Lu Richardson in Columbus as a young woman at a crossroads.

Star Of The Year: Margot Robbie, deglamming a bit, but also showing she can be a star and an actor at the same time in I, Tonya. Runner-up: Wonder Woman herself, Gal Gadot, who just a year ago won my award for not quite being a star yet.

Most Unpleasant Performance:  Mel Gibson in Daddy's Home 2.  This is not due to any personal feelings about Gibson.  It's just that the character he plays is so unrelievedly unpleasant. I realize some characters are meant to be annoying, but I don't understand why Gibson's role as Mark Wahlberg's father was made into such a hateful creep with no redeeming qualities.

Best Non-Performance By A Non-Person:  After shooting his part in All The Money In The World, scandal-ridden Kevin Spacey was removed from the film and replaced by Christopher Plummer.

Most Miscast Role:  Ellar Coltrane in The Circle. I realize it's a minor role in a film no one saw--and a film that wasn't working anyway--but the part required a salt of the earth type, which eccentric Coltrane is anything but.

Best Sequel: Thor: Ragnarok, where Marvel pulls off one of their best superhero films from one of their weakest superheroes

Worst Sequel: Always a highly competitive category, I've got to go with Daddy's Home 2

Most Disappointing Sequel: Guardians Of The Galaxy 2.  The first one came out of nowhere and was delightful.  This was the opposite.

Best Reboot: Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle.  As opposed to the critics, I loved the original Jumanji, and while the filmmakers went in a different direction this time out, it still worked.

Worst Reboot: Let's say hello and goodbye to King Arthur in Legend Of The Sword.  Runner-up: Blade Runner 2046, which followed the original all too well in giving us dazzling design with an obscure, poorly told story.

Worst TV Adaptation:  Baywatch--as bad as CHIPS at three times the cost.

Put It Out Of Its Misery Award: After Justice League it feels like the whole DC universe is a mistake.  We've already got more than enough superhero films.  Can we just cut off this branch?  Runner-up: War For The Planet Of The Apes. I surrender.

Best Line:  Same as in 2003.



Runners-up:  From A Bad Moms Christmas, of all places.  Mila Kunis, unhappy at the lavish Christmas party her mom has forced upon her--which includes a live performance from Kenny G--says "Get the fuck out, Kenny G."  I may be misquoting, but the point is who among us hasn't wanted to throw Kenny G out of their house?  And then there's the line from The Big Sick, a bit canned, but good.  When asked what he thinks of 9/11, Kumail Nanjiani replies "It was a tragedy. I mean we lost 19 of our best guys."

Hottest New Fad:  Sex with fruit, as demonstrated by Tiffany Haddish and a grapefruit in Girls Trip and Timothee Chalamet and a peach in Call Me By Your Name.

Most Tired New Plot Device:  Going viral.  Videos went viral in The Comedian, Ingrid Goes West, Brigsby Bear, The Hero, The Square and probably a few others I forget.  It went from a novel twist to a tired plot device almost overnight.

Most Generic Title: Life.  Though ironic considering the film was death at the box office.

Best Ending: The Florida Project--made all the better in that it was shot without permission.

Worst Ending: The Post.  It's already got a fine ending, with Meryl Streep as Kay Graham having gone through one crisis blissfully unaware that Watergate is just around the corner.  But Steven Spielberg can never leave well enough alone, and actually shows us the break-in.

Worst Plot Twist:  Downsizing has a decent premise, but at a certain point simply drops everything to go in a direction no one cares about (and leaves behind some plots and characters which could have been fun).

Least Plot:  Call Me By Your Name.  Take as long a bathroom break as you like, it won't make any difference.

Movie That Was Better Than It Had Any Right To Be: Wonder looked so sappy I didn't even want to see it for $2 at the sub-run theatre.  But, while it may be no classic, it actually got to me.

Best Musical Number: It's one of the songs in Band Aid--can't remember which.  I can't find any clips from the movie, so here's something from the soundtrack.



Babette's Feast Award For Best Food Porn:  Slim pickings this year, but they did serve some pretty nice stuff in Beatriz At Dinner.

Worst Chef Award:  Julianne Moore prepares coffee with lye and a poisoned PB&J in Suburbicon.  As if that's not enough, in Kingsman, she makes and serves a humanburger.

Taylor Kitsch Award For The Actor Whom Producers Mistook For A Star:  Dane DeHaan, who starred in three major flops, A Cure For Wellness, Tulip Fever and perhaps the disaster of the year, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets.  Maybe he'll make a comeback, but he'll have to work his way back to the top.

Jason Statham Award For Actor Who Appears In One Bad Film After Another But Still Manages To Be Appealing:  Brie Larson, who in 2017 was seen in Free Fire, The Glass Castle and Kong: Skull Island.

You Me And Dupree Award For The Film That While Nominally A Hollywood Comedy Is Actually A Surrealist Masterpiece Where Plot Points Are Introduced And Dropped For No Reason, Dialogue Is Unrelated To The Action, And Characters Do Things That Bear No Resemblance To How Humans Act: Home Again

House Of Sand And Fog Award For Miserable People Doing Miserable Things That Ends Up In Misery: Wonder Wheel

Worst Score:  A tie.  An obnoxious electronic score in Blade Runner 2049 and an annoyingly insistent piano-based score in Phantom Thread.

Best Translation:  How do you translate the French title Visages, Villages?  Simple.  Faces Places.  Runner-up: In Okja, a Korean-American tells a Korean girl "Try learning English.  It opens new doors!," according to the subtitles.  That's something Korean kids hear all the time.  What he actually says is "My name is Koo Soon-bum" which apparently sounds really stupid in Korean and I guess doesn't translate well.

Saddest Death:  The great Admiral Ackbar was dispatched in the latest Star Wars with even less ceremony than Boba Fett enjoyed.

Best Love Letter To A City:  Columbus for Columbus (Indiana).  Runner-up: Lady Bird for Sacramento.


TRENDS AND OBSERVATIONS

Hidden Figures: 7 Witches, 13 Minutes, Table 19, Twenty Two, 47 Meters Down, Fifty Shades Darker, 9/11, The Thousand Faces Of Dunjia, 1945, Blade Runner 2049

Zootopia: A Dog's Purpose, War For The Planet Of The Apes, Lady Bird, My Little Pony, The Zookeeper's Wife, Rock Dog, The Killing Of A Sacred Deer (from the director of Dogtooth and Lobster), Brigsby Bear, Beach Rats

Call Me By My Name: Logan, Ferdinand, King Arthur, Victoria And Adbul, Megan Leavey, Roman J. Israel Esq., Marshall, Maudie, Norman, My Cousin Rachel, LBJ, I Tonya, Jane, Patti Cakes, Wilson, Coco, Tom Of Finland, I Daniel Blake, Dean, Marjorie Prime, Harold And Lillian

Where It's At: Dunkirk, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri, Detroit, The Lost City Of Z, Paris Can Wait, The Florida Project, A United Kingdom, A Trip To Spain, Columbus, California Typewriter

I Do Declare!: Leap!, mother!, We Love You Sally Carmichael!, Hare Krishna!

For A Song: Baby Driver, The Only Living Boy In New York, All Eyez On Me, Unforgettable, Song To Song

Impacted Colon: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Spider-Man: Homecoming, Thor: Ragnarok, Alien: Covenant, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie, Smurfs: The Lost Village, Annabelle: Creation, xXx: The Return Of Xander Cage, King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword, Underworld: Blood Wars, The Nut Job 2: Nutty By Nature, My Little Pony: The Movie, Diary Of A Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul, An Inconvenient Sequel: Truth To Power, Take Every Wave: The Life Of Laird Hamilton, David Lynch: The Art Life, Ex Libris: The New York Public Library, Buena Vista Social Club: Adios

Not Very Bright:  Fifty Shades Darker, The Dark Tower, The Darkest Hour, Let There Be Light

Confusion At The Box Office:  There was a film called Logan, a film called Lucky and a film called Logan Lucky--at a certain point, they're just messing with you.  Also, it was the year of Wonder--Wonder, Wonderstruck, Wonder Woman, Wonder Wheel.  And did I mention Lady Bird and LBJ were released the same day?  By the way, which would you rather see, The Square or The Circle or The Void?

Matt Damon Lied To Me:  The trailers for Damon's two movies, Suburbicon and Downsizing, both gave a false view of their films--presumably because the trailer-makers knew what was wrong with them (so why didn't the filmmakers?)

Unintentionally Killing A Deer:  Get Out, A Cure For Wellness (though, oddly enough, there were no deer killed in The Killing Of A Sacred Deer)

Double Trouble:  Julianne Moore plays dual roles in two movies, Wonderstruck and Suburbicon  (She was also in Kingsman: The Golden Circle, which makes for five roles overall.).

Really Bad Parents:  Brigsby Bear, The Glass Castle, Wilson, Wakefield, The Meyerowitz Stories, I Tonya

It's Not Central To The Plot, But Hey, American Sure Was Racist Circa 1960:  Suburbicon, The Shape Of Water

Monster Of Choice:  Ghosts, in A Ghost Story, Personal Shopper, Annabelle: Creation, Coco, Marjorie Prime and maybe that thing in It.

You Can't Trust John Lithgow:  The actor plays three different kinds of untrustworthy in Pitch Perfect 3, Beatriz At Dinner and Daddy's Home 2. 

Deaf,  Dumb And Blind:  Wonderstruck (deaf), The Shape Of Water (dumb) and Get Out (blind)
 

RANKINGS

GOOD:
 

Logan, The Last Laugh, Song To Song, David Lynch: The Art Life, Their Finest, Harold And Lillian: A Hollywood Love Story, Wonder Woman, Band Aid, Maudie, Okja, The Trip To Spain, Good Time, Ingrid Goes West, Logan Lucky, California Typewriter, Kingsman: The Golden Circle, Happy Death Day, Lady Bird, Wait For Your Laugh, Jane, Wonder, The Disaster Artist, The Shape Of Water, Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle, Molly's Game, Bombshell: The Hedy Lamarr Story

OKAY:

Detour, Split, War On Everyone, MA, Get Out, The Girl With All The Gifts, Table 19, Love & Taxes, Personal Shopper, T2 Trainspotting, Wilson, Kedi, The Zookeeper's Wife, Colossal, Chasing Trane: The John Coltrane Documentary, The Lost City Of Z, Wakefield, It Comes At Night, The Hero, The Little Hours, Girls Trip, Atomic Blonde, Brigsby Bear, It, Battle Of The Sexes, Brad's Status, The Tiger Hunter, Lucky, The Foreigner, The Meyerowitz Stories, Wonderstruck, Marshall, Loving Vincent, Coco, Darkest Hour, Mudbound, Star Wars: The Last Jedi, The Ballad Of Lefty Brown, Phantom Thread, All The Money In The World, Hostiles


NOT OKAY:

The Book Of Love, The Comedian, John Wick: Chapter 2, The LEGO Batman Movie, A Cure For Wellness, Catfight, Kong: Skull Island, First Fight, Gifted, Free Fire, The Circle, Guardians Of The Galaxy Vol. 2, King Arthur: Legend Of The Sword, The Fate Of The Furious, Snatched, Beatriz At Dinner, Cars 3, Going In Style, Rough Night, War For The Planet Of The Apes, Baywatch, Dunkirk, Valerian And The City Of A Thousand Planets, The House, The Hitman's Bodyguard, Beach Rats, The Glass Castle, Marjorie Prime, Home Again, American Assassin, Mother!, American Made, The Mountain Between Us, Blade Runner 2049, The Killing Of A Sacred Deer, The Square, Murder on The Orient Express, Justice League, CHIPS, Roman J. Israel Esq., Call Me By Your Name, Daddy's Home 2, Wonder Wheel, A Bad Moms Christmas, Suburbicon, The Greatest Showman, Life, Downsizing, Pitch Perfect 3
 

TOP FIFTEEN (in alphabetical order) 

Baby Driver

An action film with beautiful choreography.  Though I wonder if in future years it'll be remembered as the last film they let Kevin Spacey make.

The Big Sick

Always nice to see a romantic comedy that manages to be both.  Usually it's neither.

Columbus

A contemplative film.  That's not always a compliment, but, inspired by Ozu, Columbus is a beautiful meditation on life, longing and architecture.

Faces Places

Agnes Varda and JR drove across France, making public art along the way, and ended up with a fine movie.

The Florida Project

It's about particular people in a particular place with a particular issue, but it's really about the joys and sorrows of childhood.

A Ghost Story

Took a premise that could have been just silly and stuck with it, going deeper than seemed possible at first.

Gook

A tale of the Asian-American and African-American community during the 1992 L.A. riots.  Doesn't quite land the third act, but well-observed up to that point.

I, Tonya

One of the funniest films of the year, and one of the most touching.  I never really thought much of Tonya Harding, but this film (no matter how accurate it is--the movie admits no one will ever know exactly what happened) makes you care about her.

Norman

The full title tells you the story: "The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer." We've all known people like this, who need to get close to important people to feel important themselves.  Maybe we can see a bit of ourselves in him, which is what makes this movie hard to watch. (There's a money quote: "Hard to watch"--LAGuy)

The Post

Spielberg and a fine cast take a well-known story about journalism and turn it into an exciting thriller. (Okay, they simplified and rearranged, but that's why it's a movie and not a book.)

Spider-Man Homecoming

I don't know if I've liked any of the Spider-Man films till this one.  Maybe the difference is you really believe in the characters here.

Thor: Ragnarok

Who said you can't have fun in a superhero movie?

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri

A rarity--a film with a plot you can't predict (due to the talent, not the incompetence, of the writer-director).

Wind River

A powerful crime drama where desolation is a central character.

Your Name

The Japanese seem to take animation more seriously.  Sure it's a cartoon, but the characters should be as alive in any film.