Where's my picture of JonBenet Ramsey?

Yes, Virginia, if the Post says it, it's so.

Teens are having sex in the auditoriums, the bathrooms, the classrooms, the hallways, in the parking lots, the school buses, the bleachers, the wrestling mats, on that back stairway next to the physics classrooms.

Man, if this keeps up, we're going to STDs, out of wedlock births, and a general loss of self-esteem. Oh, and morals will decline.

I suppose this is all par for the course. Just two things to note: The Post quotes an authority saying it all started five years ago, ABOUT THE TIME OF THE CLINTON IMPEACHMENT, you might say. Damn Republicans.

The really serious news, though, and LAGuy should take note, is that it turns out it's the movies. Things really peaked, so to speak, about the time of that "popular movie, 'Mean Girls'" (Lindsay Lohan is such a b*tch.)

I think we need a commission to study this. Let's fill it half full of Congress critters who will each get five minutes to question every witness, and the other half every editor outside of boulder who ever published a picture of JonBenet Ramsey.