No Top Hat

Entertainment Weekly has named the top 25 movie musicals of all time. EW's website makes you click to a new page for each title--I hate that--so here they are all in one place.

1. “The Wizard of Oz,” 1939
2. “West Side Story,” 1961
3. “Singin' in the Rain,” 1952
4. “Cabaret,” 1972
5. “Mary Poppins,” 1964
6. “The Band Wagon,” 1953
7. “A Hard Day's Night,” 1964
8. “South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut,” 1999
9. “Meet Me in St. Louis,” 1944
10. “Love Me Tonight,” 1932
11. “An American in Paris,” 1951
12. “Swing Time,” 1936
13. “On the Town,” 1949
14. “Grease,” 1978
15. “Hairspray,” 2007
16. “A Star Is Born,” 1954
17. “Chicago,” 2002
18. “The Busby Berkeley Disc,” 2006 compilation
19. “The Sound of Music,” 1965
20. “Funny Girl,” 1968
21. “Beauty and the Beast,” 1991
22. “Gigi,” 1958
23. “The Music Man,” 1962
24. “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers,” 1954
25. “Once,” 2006.

Let's work our way up and start with Once. A critics' favorite, and an attempt to keep the list current, but the film did nothing for me. It also makes one ask just what is a musical? Is it characters who stop to sing a song, or do the numbers have to further the plot. And does the percentage of the film spent on the songs matter? Whatever the answer, I wouldn't put Once on a list of good musicals, much less the top 25.

Seven Brides For Seven Brothers is a classic movie musical, and this list needs more of these.

I don't know if The Music Man is a great "movie" musical--like so many adaptations, almost everything good about it comes from the stage version--but just preserving Robert Preston's performance is worth something. (I have a friend who rates this in his top five films of all time.)

Gigi was a huge hit--really the last big splash of MGM's Freed unit--but it's never done much for me. A safe choice, I guess.

Beauty And The Beast puts animated films on the table. Okay, why not. But there are plenty of others I'd take first from Disney, including modern choices like The Little Mermaid or Aladdin. Before them, you really should pick something from the Golden Age, such as Snow White or Pinocchio--perhaps EW's editors are afraid of too much old stuff.

Funny Girl--a prestigious, well-adapted stage hit that made Barbra Streisand a movie star and does nothing for me. Anyway, there are a ton of musicals actually written for the screen that excite me more (and a bunch of adaptations that are more fun, while we're at it--speaking of which, I wonder if Wall-E will bring back interest in the film version of Hello, Dolly!).

The Sound Of Music is an Oscar winner, the biggest hit of all time in its day and the one Rodgers and Hammerstein choice on the list. Can't say it does much for me.

The Busby Berkeley Disc? EW used this slot as a chance to insult the films they appeared in, saying we should just enjoy the amazing numbers on their own. But plenty of those Warner Bros. musicals from the 30s are entertaining all the way through, and even when the dialogue scenes are a let down, I'd rather watch them then half the stuff on this list. Actually, the top 25 should have a handful of these classics--at the very least 42d Street deserves its own spot. Of course, a proper top 25 would have about 10 musicals from the 30s, and that would never do for an EW list.

Chicago was an Oscar-winner, but so were two better film, Oliver! and My Fair Lady, and I don't see them on the list (and they shouldn't be).

I'm not entirely sure if the 1950s A Star Is Born is a musical, and, as it's overblown and overrated, I'm less sure if it's even a good movie.

Hairspray?! Boy, those editors really insist on modern films that won't make the list in 20 years.

Grease was a huge hit, and while it's kind of fun, it shouldn't even make the top 25 cinematic adapatations of hit musicals list.

On The Town is considered a breakthrough classic, but it's not as great as advertised. True, they filmed on location (for a couple days), and it's fun, but they cut out a lot of great Bernstein numbers (this is still the 40s, before they started respecting the original sources) and there are about five Gene Kelly musicals that are better.

Swing Time is the biggest mistake on the list. Oh, it should be on it, but it's the sole representative of the Astaire-Rogers musicals, ten films that alone justify the existence of Hollywood. Swing Time does have songs and dances that are equal to any others in the canon, but this list should have at least three or four from the series. Also, EW calls it the "sweetest" and "lightest" of their films, which is nonsense, the kind of thing you hear from people who have picked up that critics have switched their allegiance over from Top Hat. Actually, Swing Time is one of the heaviest films that Fred and Ginger made, full of strained George Stevens comedy.

An American in Paris--another Oscar winner. Not bad, but once again, overrated. Putting it on this list is another critic's reflex.

Love Me Tonight. An unorthodox but fun choice. I'm not sure if it should be this high (especially since the script, not bad, doesn't really come up to the Rodgers and Hart score), but at least one Lubitsch musical should be on the list, even if it's not by Lubitsch.

Meet Me In St. Louis. Once again, not bad, but another overrated Judy Garland film. Hard to complain about it being on the list, though.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut. I know they're trying to shock us, but it is a pretty good film, and definitely a musical. Okay, maybe not top 25 material, but I could see it being on the top 100.

A Hard Day's Night--once again, perhaps it isn't a musical. But since it may be the best film on the list, I'm not complaining.

The Band Wagon. We need at least one Gingerless Astaire film and this is his recognized Freed unit classic, so I'll play along.

Mary Poppins. A lot of fun, but a classic musical? I don't know. Certainly not top ten material.

Cabaret. Highly respected, considered a rare masterful adaptation of a stage hit, not just a stuffed and mounted production. Still, I've never warmed to it. Maybe I need to see it again.

Singin' In The Rain. Gotta be on the list. Probably should be higher.

West Side Story. Another Oscar winner, and one of the most overrated films of all. Some nice moments, but the story seems ridiculous on screen. I'll take the honest melodrama of 42nd Street over the strained melodrama of this one any day.

The Wizard Of Oz became a beloved classic through TV. In its day, it was a huge MGM production that grossed less than the much cheaper, black and white Mickey and Judy "let's put on a show" musicals coming out at the same time. It is a classic, though--great lead, great score, great vaudeville turns. I'd put it up there, though not #1.