I Like Ike

Reverend Ike, my favorite religious celebrity, has died.

I remember seeing him on TV and thinking now here's someone different. He preached the positive power of proaperity. He believed in profits, not prophets.

This is from a sermon: "Close your eyes and see green. Money up to your armpits, a roomful of money and there you are, just tossing around in it like a swimming pool." Preach it, Rev.

As the AP quotes him: "If it's that difficult for a rich man to get into heaven, think how terrible it must be for a poor man to get in. He doesn't even have a bribe for the gatekeeper." I remember him once talking about prayer, saying when you get down on your knees you're in the perfect position to get kicked in the ass.

Well, I hope Ike has bribed his way into heaven by now.