White Papers

Here something that's been making the rounds: "Books That Literally All White Men Own: The Definitive List."

I'm going to reproduce this lengthy list and, as an honorary white man, will note if I own it or not, or have even read it.  Actually, all of these books are quite popular in general, and likely owned by many women and non-white men as well.

1. Shogun, James Clavell [don't own, haven't read, no interest]
2. Slaughterhouse-Five, Kurt Vonnegut [own many Vonnegut novels, have read it]
3. A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole [read and owned]
4. Infinite Jest, David Foster Wallace [don't own, haven't gotten around to reading, may never]
5. A collection of John Lennon’s drawings. [own some writing by Lennon, but no drawings except as part of book]
6. A Farewell to Arms, Ernest Hemingway [read it years ago, don't own, but own other Hemingway]
7. The first two volumes of A Song of Ice and Fire, George R.R. Martin [don't own any Martin--have looked at some books in the library to see how it compares to Game Of Thrones]
8. God Is Not Great, Christopher Hitchens [read parts of it in library, don't own]
9. Catch-22, Joseph Heller [own, have read several times]
10. I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell, Tucker Max [don't own, no interest in reading]
11. Atlas Shrugged, Ayn Rand [have read, not sure if I own]
12. The Man Who Mistook His Wife For A Hat, Oliver Sacks [have read articles by Sacks but haven't read this, and don't own it]
13. The Catcher in the Rye, J.D. Salinger [certainly have read it, may have a copy somewhere]
14. The Godfather, Mario Puzo [love the movie, haven't read book, don't own it]
15. The Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald [have read, may own it]
16. Lolita, Vladimir Nabokov [have read, may own it]
17. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk [don't own book, would only consider looking at it to compare it to movie]
18. The Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov [don't own, haven't read]
19. The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown [don't own, no interest in reading except perhaps to see why it was such a huge bestseller]
20. The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck [never got around to reading--have read other Steinbeck and not been greatly impressed, and this one looks sort of long; have seen movie and found it overrated]
21. The Stand, Stephen King [haven't read--have read some King but only because friends insisted]
22. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson [haven't read, no interest--didn't like either movie version]
23. The Naked and the Dead, Norman Mailer [haven't read--not too much interest in it]
24. Tuesdays With Morrie, Mitch Albom [haven't read, no interest]
25. It’s Not About the Bike, Lance Armstrong (definitely under the bed) [haven't read, no interest]
26. Who Moved My Cheese?, Spencer Johnson [haven't read, no interest]
27. Portnoy’s Complaint, Philip Roth [read years ago, probably own]
28. Seabiscuit, Laura Hillenbrand [haven't read, not too much interest]
29. John Adams, David McCullough [I think someone gave me a copy, may get around to it]
30. Ragtime, E.L. Doctorow [read and owned]
31. Lucky Jim, Kingsley Amis [been planning to read it for years, don't own it]
32. America: The Book, Jon Stewart [looked at it in library, no interest in checking it out]
33. The World Is Flat, Thomas Friedman [reading Friedman in small doses is bad enough]
34. The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell [Gladwell strikes me as sort of silly, don't think I could take a whole book]
35. The Curious Incident of the Dog In the Night-Time, Mark Haddon [haven't read, don't own]
36. Exodus, Leon Uris (if Jewish) [haven't read, don't own, have seen movie]
37. Trinity, Leon Uris (if Irish-American) [haven't read, don't own]
38. The Road, Cormac McCarthy [had a friend who insisted I read it, don't own]
39. Marley & Me, John Grogan [don't own, no interest]
40. Freakonomics, Steven D. Levitt [my book group made me read it--I don't disagree with the book but not sure if I'd have read it otherwise]
41. The Rainmaker, John Grisham [there's so much good literature out there, why would I read Grisham?]
42. Patriot Games, Tom Clancy [see Grisham above]
43. Dragon, Clive Cussler [don't own, no interest]
44. Guns, Germs, and Steel, Jared Diamond [have read some essays by Diamond, seems questionable, don't own book]
45. The Agony and the Ecstasy, Irving Stone [haven't read, don't own, don't particularly like movie]
46. The 9/11 Commission Report [read a few selections in papers, don't own--has anyone read whole thing who wasn't required to?]
47. The Spy Who Came In From the Cold, John le Carre [don't own, don't read spy novels]
48. Rising Sun, Michael Crichton [have read no Crichton, have seen many movie adaptations]
49. A Walk in the Woods, Bill Bryson [wouldn't have read except a friend suggested it last year]
50. Airport, Arthur Hailey [seen movie, no interest in reading book]
51. Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki [don't own, haven't read]
52. Burr, Gore Vidal [have read, probably own]
53. Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt [haven't read, don't own]
54. The Wheel of Time, Robert Jordan [haven't read, don't own]
55. Into Thin Air, Jon Krakauer [have read, I think someone gave it to me]
56. Into the Wild, Jon Krakauer [haven't read, don't own, have seen movie]
57. Cryptonomicon, Neal Stephenson [haven't read, don't own]
58. Godel, Escher, Bach, Douglas Hofstadter [read, owned and met with author]
59. The World According to Garp, John Irving [read and probably own]
60. A Brief History of Time, Stephen Hawking [read much of it in library]
61. The Tin Drum, Gunter Grass [haven't read, did like the movie]
62. On the Road, Jack Kerouac [haven't read--looks like too much trouble]
63. Lord of the Flies, William Golding [read back in high school, may own]
64. The Lord of the Rings, JRR Tolkien [read as a kid, didn't like]
65. The Bonfire of the Vanities, Tom Wolfe [read, owned]
66. Beowulf, the Seamus Heaney translation [have read, own a different translation]
67. Rabbit, Run, John Updike [read several Updike works, not this one--may get around to it]
68. The Satanic Verses, Salman Rushdie [haven't read, don't own]
69. The Complete Sherlock Holmes, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle [have read much Holmes, not sure if I have complete collection]
70. The Big Sleep, Raymond Chandler [great movie but I don't read detective novels]
71. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Ken Kesey [read years ago, may own]
72. A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess [read in library]
73. House of Leaves, Mark Danielewski [haven't read, don't own]
74. The Call of the Wild, Jack London [read as kid, don't own]
75. Gravity’s Rainbow, Thomas Pynchon [have read other Pynchon, but haven't gotten to this yet]
76. I, Claudius, Robert Graves [haven't read, don't own, watched TV series years ago]
77. The Civil War: A Narrative, Shelby Foote [haven't read, don't own]
78. American Psycho, Bret Easton Ellis (a glaring omission from the original, pointed out by Naomi Fry) [haven't read, don't own]
79. Life, Keith Richards [read selections in bookstore]