JS

John Simon has died.  He'd been around a long time, so it wasn't entirely unexpected. For over 50 years he was active as a critic, writing about the arts--theatre, cinema, literature, music and so on.  He was published in many periodicals, and for years was the theatre critic at New York Magazine and film critic at National Review.

Years ago I would go to the library and read collections of reviews, and his were notable for their erudition and vitriol.  The first collection of his I bought was Uneasy Stages, writings on the New York theatre from 1963 to 1973.  I hadn't seen any of the productions, but his vivid descriptions and powerful opinions were memorable on their own.  To this day it's my favorite book of his.

Simon was, let's say, hard to please.  For instance, he reviews a lot of Shakespeare in Uneasy Stages, and I'm not sure if he approves of a single production.  He had what you might call a Teutonic view of the arts (though I believe he was Hungarian and Yugoslavian)--old-fashioned high standards, not easily met.  Writers and directors of the moment--someone like, say, Harold Pinter or Jean-Luc Godard--often felt his wrath.  And while he wasn't opposed to mere entertainment, true art had to be about more.  Of course, to him, most enterprises failed even on the level of basic entertainment.

He didn't think much of Star Wars, for instance, saying it was only acceptable for kids and adults who never grew up.  He even appeared on Nightline debating Siskel and Ebert on the issue. (He also appeared as himself on an episode of The Odd Couple, debating Felix Unger about theatre.)

He was known for being particularly cruel to actors, criticizing their looks.  His argument was they have limited time to make an impression, so if they aren't physically right for the role, or are distractingly odd-looking, it gets in the way of their performance. Thus, he made fun of Barbra Streisand's nose and said Liza Minnelli looked like a beagle. I remember he once called actress Joey Lauren Adams "batrachian" (you need a dictionary to read Simon--the word means froglike).

His viciousness was so well known that he was parodied (as far as I can tell) in the movie What's Up Doc? and on The Mary Tyler Moore Show and Taxi.  Famously, actress Sylvia Miles dumped a plate of food on his head at a restaurant. He was also accused of racism (he didn't like color-blind casting, by the way), sexism and other isms. Simon always laughed off attacks, believing in his taste, not caring if the crowd disagreed with him.  One wonders if he could get a position in today's sensitive world.

He was also fond of puns and plays on words.  When reviewing British comedian Norman Wisdom, he wrote "if this be Norman Wisdom, give me Saxon folly." Of the flop play A Rainy Day In Newark, he wrote "The hero [...] is named Kodiak; everything else about the play is grizzly." (That's the entire review.)

I often disagreed with Simon, but that's the case with any critic. The bigger point is we need critics like him.  While so many reviewers fall over themselves, praising the latest trendy thing, we need someone who stands for something, if just to remind us there are standards beyond what we think today.  Simon said the ultimate test is the test of time, and most things acclaimed today will be forgotten.  Critics will be forgotten as well, but Simon has a better chance to pass the test than most.