The Man Who Knows Everything

When I read the Sunday LA Times, the first thing I check out is Parade magazine, in particular, Walter Scott's Personality Parade. People ask the oddest questions, but Walter's always ready with an answer.

First question this week, who are the hottest starlets under 30? While I can't argue with the answers, the photos of Keira Knightley, Lindsay Lohan and Rachel McAdams are the ugliest I've ever seen.

The next question is about Grammy nominee Rick Moranis, essentially asking who he is. Here's the entire summation: "Moranis, 52, former DJ and standup comic in Canada, has appeared in several films, including Honey, I Shrunk The Kids." That's it. Leaving out his work on SCTV, which he's primarily known for, is like reviewing Paul McCartney's career without mentioning The Beatles.

A later question is about the Steve Martin Pink Panther. The reader has been hearing about it for so long she wants to know if it's in trouble. Oh no, Walter replies. The film's distributor was sold, explaining the delay. That's certainly news in Hollywood, where it's been widely understood for about a year now that the movie is a disaster. That it's opening in February, and not the summer, suggests the distributor knows it, too. I guess the mystery will be cleared up soon enough.

Finally, there's a question asking how Naomi Watts feels about no Golden Globe nomination for King Kong. As it turns out, Walter can read minds: "[She] was so hurt by the snub she stayed away from the awards ceremony." I suppose that's possible, though it seems to me she may have stayed away because--oh, I don't know--neither she nor her film were nominated.