Back Up

From an advice column in Slate, here's an exchange that's gotten a lot of hits:

Dear Prudence,
[...] I masturbate pretty much every morning after getting up and every evening before I go to bed, unless I think my wife and I will make love. The problem is that my wife sees my masturbation as a declaration that she does not please me, which is not true. [...] Moreover, she complains that I "take too long" and says she would be more willing if I were "normal" [...] how do I convey to her that masturbation is normal and that she shouldn't see it as evidence that she's inadequate?
—Illicit Self-Lover

Dear Illicit,
If morning and night is your minimum daily sexual requirement, then even the most ardent wife might want to whip out the Taser when she sees you approaching. Masturbation by married people is perfectly normal and not a problem, unless it becomes one. In your case, it's become one. I talked to Sallie Foley, director of the Center for Sexual Health at the University of Michigan Health System, about your situation. [...] Foley says the book Sex Talk, by Aline Zoldbrod, could give the two of you tools for more comfortably discussing these issues.

As for your delayed orgasm, it may be that your sexual response is so habituated to your own five-finger salute that lovemaking doesn't feel as intense. Foley suggests changing the mechanics of your masturbation style—for instance, more lubrication might help. (Other suggestions can be found in the instructional video American Pie.) [I hate to interrupt, but the one area where I thought he didn't need help was his masturbation technique] And she didn't say this, but I will: Get a grip and give it a rest. Maybe if you make the decision to do something else with your hands (whittling? knitting? flossing?), you'll find you aren't so obsessed with your urges. Then masturbation will become a pleasurable thing you do sometimes instead of a twice-daily necessity.
—Prudie

I'm not even going to comment on the substance of the problem (or "problem") the guy has. I'm just trying to imagine what it's like to open up publicly and say your wife doesn't understand your needs, only to be told by another woman--who talks to a third woman, who recommends a book by a fourth woman--that you're a sex maniac.