Far-Flung Correspondence

Thought I'd keep you abreast of my latest correspondence.  Here's an email I received from an important Los Angeles lawyer:

From: Irving Osser. Esq.
The Osser Law Offices.
3345 Wilshire Blvd Ste 911, Los Angeles, CA 90010
United States.
Email: irvingosser@gmail.com

Good Day.

How are you doing, i hope you are fine. I am A. Irving Osser,Esq. From the United States.

I have a secure business proposal to discuss with you. The amount of money involve is $30 Million US Dollars. I want a straight forward and honest person for this. I will share with you equal part if you can be trusted for this. I am an old man and i have been an ATTORNEY for years. So please i want an honest person for this business deal. I will give to you $15 Million Dollars if you are able to execute this business with me. If you are okay for this. please write directly to this email.

I invite you to visit my website: www.osserlaw.com

Write to me on this Email: ( irvingosser@gmail.com )

Sincerely,

A. Irving Osser,Esq

Sounds interesting, but I just don't trust people who fail to capitalize "I."

Here's something I received from a Mrs. Sheila Johnson:

Dearly Beloved sorry to border you , I am Mrs.Sheila Johnson, wife of the Late Mr. Harold Johnson who worked with shell oil company , and he died after a brief illness ,Presently I have been diagnose of Esophageal cancer and I am in a hospital receiving treatment , the doctor informed me that I have only few day to live,my heart directed me to you so i am picking you to help me use our wealth for charity and to help the less privileged. Please contact me via email : mrs-sheila@gmx.com

Unfortunately, I've been sitting on this email for a few weeks so it's probably too late to do anything. Oh well.

Finally, here's something I got from a Mrs. Franca Lee:

Your funds payment of $1,500,000.00 USD has been approve by UNITED NATIONS (UN)
and you will be receiving $7,600.00 Daily through Western Union. Do send your
Name, Address & Phone Number to Mrs. Franca Lee, via westernu.moneytransfer@aol.com
Or Call: +6010 3770 946

Yours truly,
Temp Fred
For: Western Union® Payment Center.

Why did the United Nations choose me?  Maybe they looked at my place and decided I needed some disaster relief.  I'd confirm except I lost the address of my local Western Union office so I'd never be able to collect.