Sunday, June 07, 2009

Heroic Choices

Here's a pretty good summary, from a talkbacker at AICN, of what the new season of Heroes will bring:

Next season on Heroes... Suresh delivers the worst voiceover narration in television history. Peter, Hiro, Claire & Sylar will continue to not take full advantage of their unstoppable, god-like powers. In the season premiere Hiro will discover something terrible will happen in the future and the cast will spend the entire season trying to preemptively save the day. Ali Lauder's character will die but a new character will be introduced that coincidentally enough looks just like her. Nathan will die in the season finale. Millions of lives will rest on Peter shooting the villain but he'll hesitate like a whiny bitch long enough for the villain to escape. Momma Petrelli will be mysterious (shh!) Noah Bennett will be mysterious (shh!) Suresh will join forces with the villain to do mad scientist-like research and then long after he's doomed millions of people will have a change of heart and join the heroes. Nathan will join forces with the villain and long after dooming millions of people, will have a change of heart and rejoin the heroes. Matt Parkman & Suresh will suddenly forget they left little Molly all alone at home over a year ago, will get arrested for letting her die due to neglect, and will be win the award for worst parental guardians EVER! The heroes will discover the last, last, last (this time they really mean it), last picture of the future that the dude from season one painted. Tired of being ignored, Claire's brother will turn to evil villainy just to get a little attention for once. After there's no one else left on the planet without superpowers, the writers will decide to give Muggles, the Bennett family dog his own reset button superpower. During sweaps, audiences will be shocked when Noah Bennett gets contacts. Characters will continue to behave completely arbitrarily based on the nothing but the whims of the show's writers and their desire to write lots of contrived dramatic tension between characters.

1 Comments:

Anonymous Lawrence King said...

This is completely fallacious. The dog's name is Mister Muggles, not just Muggles.

4:09 PM, June 07, 2009  

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