It's An Awful Pain

I've heard a number of people who oppose lifting the Don't Ask Don't Tell policy argue that you wouldn't let men and women shower together, so how can you have gay men shower with straight men? (Some would claim these people are obsessed by the shower issue.)

I just don't see this argument.  There's simply is a different dynamic in mixed-sex showers* and all-male (or all-female) showers.

Naked males represent something different from naked females. If a naked women walked into a male locker room, if anyone would be in trouble, it would be the woman.  If a naked man walked into a female locker room, the women would feel threatened.  There is unequal power, and having aroused men near women is understandably seen as potentially threatening.  Even a man who means no harm and does nothing wrong would not be welcome in a room where women are dressing.

Meanwhile, men showering with men has long been the norm, and deals with individuals who have equal power.  In fact, any man who stares too much at another man (anywhere) is likely to be challenged, so it's the starer who has to watch out.  It's strange that men who are asked to do such difficult and dangerous things--and who are mocked as wimps if they even complain--can't handle the possibility that someone might look at them.

And, of course, under the policy of Don't Ask Don't Tell--or under any policy--there can be homosexuals in the shower.  You just don't know which ones.  They've been staring all along, and the military didn't crumble.  With a new policy where they can openly admit their sexuality (not that they all will), now at least you might have an idea who they are.

I admit I've never served, or been in combat, and I know there are arguments about unit cohesion, and so on.  But I have taken group showers, I have known homosexuals, and, when you get down to it, I have taken group showers that included homosexuals.  It just isn't a big deal, nor should it be.

*Not that I oppose mixed-sex showers.