Let George Write It

I was in a local restaurant that had a lot of stuff on its walls.  While waiting to be seated, I saw an essay attributed to George Carlin.  It was titled "The Paradox Of Our Time."

It was the sort of bilge that people have been putting out for decades, or more likely centuries--bad formula writing that bemoans how we do seemingly big things but get the little things wrong, or other thoughts equally mindless. Here's a sample:

The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints; we spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgment; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness.

We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom.

I was pretty sure this wasn't Carlin, so I checked when I got home. Sure enough, Carlin, when made aware of the piece, said he had nothing to do with it and mocked how sappy it was.  In fact, the piece had been attributed to many others, including a student at Columbine and the Dalai Lama.

Turns out it's an essay from Words Aptly Spoken, a 1995 collection or writings by Dr. Bob Moorehead, a former pastor of Seattle's Overlake Christian Church.  Now if they'd attributed it to him, I'd have believed them.  But would I have read it?