I Never Metaphor I Didn't Like

There are certain colorful phrases in common parlance that make me laugh because I can't help but think of their literal meaning whenever I hear them.

For instance, I would love to actually see someone being read the riot act.

For that matter, it would be great to watch as people get their marching orders.

On the other hand, I probably don't need to hear a stuck pig squealing. That sounds unpleasant for both of us.